Imperfection

To live in a consumer culture is to live in a culture which constantly reinforces the idea that as consumers. We are never as good as the other, nor will we catch up to them. Everywhere we look, we see messages promoting a false narrative of perfection, an unrealistic and unattainable standard of beauty. So we find fleeting happiness through consumption. Many products are marketed as though if we purchase and consume them, our lives will improve, and we will be beautiful, like the models in the advertisements. These messages are harmful to everyone, but especially to more impressionable youth, who have grown up with such messages being commonplace. I remember comparing myself to models in cologne or underwear commercials when I was younger and thinking, “I wish I looked like that.” I figured that, maybe if I had washboard abs and wore Calvin Klein boxers, all of my problems would somehow disappear. As I grew older and thus became more in touch with not only my masculinity, but also my femininity, my perceptions of beauty and the messages of our consumer society shifted. My view of myself did, too, and now it wasn’t just the Calvin Klein, but the Fenty Beauty and the Anastasia Beverly Hills, that I thought would solve everything. I felt the need to conform to society’s conceptions of how a man should present, but I wanted so badly to express myself as my own person. I struggled for a while. I felt as though I was walking a tightrope, always careful not to lean too far one way. Eventually though, I came to an understanding that I do not have to fit into any sort of box that society might want to label me as, I can just be Justin, no matter how I present myself to others.